Focusing on your relationship with someone else and the three questions of Naikan enables you to develop a more holistic, realistic view of your conduct. As a result you will perceive and appreciate the give-and-take that occurs in everyday life.
How do you usually start Naikan?
At first you examine your relationship with your mother. You look at the years when you were 0 to 6 years old, your first memories slowly come up. Looking at those memories you are asking the three questions of Naikan:
1. What has my mother done for me during that period of time? What have I received from her?
2. What have I done for my mother during that period of time? What have I given to her?
3. What troubles and difficulties have I caused my mother in that period of time?
In a Naikan retreat you have about one or two hours to think about that. Then a Naikan guide will come to your place for a short interview. Next is the time when you were 6 to 10 years old, still focusing on your mother. Again you have a short interview with the Naikan guide. Next period is your age from 10 to 14 years, and so on, until today (or the day she died).
Next you examine your relationship with your father, again in periods from your first memory until today. Then you can choose e.g. siblings, grandparents, partner, children, work associates, friends, topics... for your Naikan reflection.
A Naikan retreat usually is one week long.
"You cannot create experience. You must undergo it." - Alfred Lord Tennyson
Through Naikan you rediscover the treasures you carry inside.
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